To homemoms with 4 kids or more.....?

how to you cope with it? and dill with everyday life, and do you like staying home or do you feel like working, ive been having a hard time this lat1yr and a half with being a stay at home mom i feel like as hard as i try i cannot be domesticated all i think about is my husband is out working his own plumbing company while im here at home changing poopy dypers and dealing with screaming children i know that sounds so ungrateful but i just feel like i want more out of life than just being a mom and i feel like when i mention going back to school to be a nurse i don't get my husbands support anyway just want peoples input and another thing my 3yr old son has disabilities so it makes it hard for me to just go to work. but to let you all know i love my children too no end im sure there will be a few on here who will criticize me